It just takes a lot of work—and [depending on situation] time.
But mainly, you have to stop settling.
What hurts my heart the most is seeing people settle—with jobs, with spouses, with friends, with life…
And most of the time, the reason people settle is because of fear:
“What will [person] think?”
“What if I fail?”
“What if I lose [person or thing]?”
“What if I miss out if I’m not friends with [person] even though they are the worst friend ever?”
“What if I quit my job and go out on my own but it takes months or years to make any profit?”
“I can’t break up with this person. How am I going to find another partner? Dating is hard!”
“I can’t go on that trip. I don’t like to fly! And I just need to save money.”
“I can’t take a vacation. My work needs me. I have so much to do!”
“Ugh like everyone has a blog these days, why would I start one?”
“What if people stare at me when I start going to the gym? People will think I’m lame.”
“I don’t want people seeing me do burpees and all this jiggle that comes with it!”
“Eating healthy is hard and expensive. I’ll just get Chick fil a.”
“I can’t go out tonight. I have 5 episodes of Gossip Girl I need to finish before 10pm when I go to bed.”
Can you relate to any of the above statements?
If so, I’m literally yelling at you:
Staaahhhhhhhhp it. STAHP!
I’m also yelling at myself because I personally resonate with a couple statements on the list above [specifically the last one. I have a GG problem. xoxo]
So this is a blog post for you and for me. It’s for all of us. Because we all settle at some point in our lives.
But you know what? Settling isn’t fun… it makes life miserable.
I’ve settled in past relationships and allowed them to go on a lot longer than they should have and steal the joy from my life.
I’ve made excuses for not going to the gym or trying new group fitness classes based on the fear of people looking at me.
I’ve used the fast-food cop out because I’m too lazy to cook a yummy healthy meal.
And I’m currently in a situation where I’m not going to allow myself to settle (more to come on this in the future, we’re good though, no worries. xoxo)
We are all too uniquely perfect and amazing and talented and beautiful and smart and flawlessly created to settle for ANYTHING less than what we believe we deserve. We’re too loved by our Creator to have fear of what another earthly mortal human thinks about us. WHO CARES, RIGHT!?
When I relaunched From Skinny 2 Strong last August, someone close to me said “Liz, you know everyone has a blog these days. People are going to think you’re just trying to be like them.” That’s not verbatim, but it’s the gist of it. I replied, “Yeah, but it’s ME. Someone may absolutely love X person, but others may connect with me more instead. There is somebody for everybody. And I LOVE my blog. It was my baby I brought to life over 4 years ago. By all means, WATCH ME BUILD IT UP.”
Sometimes our minds can be our worst enemies, feeding us lies and fears that are not true. at. all. We have a society, social media, friends, relatives, people with “stuck in their way” mindsets who may trigger fears, feelings of inadequacy, thoughts of “why waste your time”, a mentality of “well that’s not society says you should do”, etc.
If we go along with those triggers, then there’s a whole lot of life we can miss out on.
So here are my answers to the following fears/excuses/settle statements:
“What will [person] think?” Who cares. They’re human just like you and me.
“What if I fail?” You never know unless you try.
“What if I lose [person or thing]?” Then they weren’t mean to be in your life anyways. The real people who love you will be there by your side.
“What if I miss out if I’m not friends with [person] even though they are the worst friend ever?” You’re not going to miss out on anything. Pave your own path. Create your own life… and find some good friends, darn it.
“What if I quit my job and go out on my own but it takes months or years to make any profit?” Building a biz takes time + a lot of hard work. But if you’re bat shit passionate + have an unnerving drive and unwilling to give up, then your rewards will come. Keep hustling, cupcake.
“I can’t break up with this person. How am I going to find another partner? Dating is hard!” OMG BREAK UP. Don’t be with something just because “you don’t think you can find someone else.” Trust me, it’s worth it. You will find that person who you are so madly in love with, who treats you like the QUEEN/KING you are, and who the thought of them literally makes you feel butterflies (thinking of my fiance right now writing this and OMG the feelz <3)
“I can’t go on that trip. I don’t like to fly! And I just need to save money.” If you truly need to save money, that’s a smart decision. But if you’re dying for a vacay, then set aside a portion of your paycheck to save up for a trip. You deserve it.
“I can’t take a vacation. My work needs me. I have so much to do!” Go on the dang vacation. Prepare ahead of time, square all your work away, and take the trip. Work will be there when you get back. Holla.
“Ugh like everyone has a blog these days, why would I start one?” Because you are YOU. You’re not like every other blogger. You can make an impact in someone’s life. It would be selfish to hold in a voice + thoughts like yours from people who would love to hear you. Get out there. Email me if you want to chat bloggy biz xoxo.
“What if people stare at me when I start going to the gym? People will think I’m lame.” No, they won’t. Plus, you gotta live your life. You want to make this lifestyle change and become healthy, right? Challenge yourself next time your in the gym and do whatever workout your heart desires. If that thought creeps back into your head, just remember what you’re doing is bold. You’re confident. You made it to the gym. You’re changing your life. LET’S GO!
“I don’t want people seeing me do burpees and all this jiggle that comes with it!” 100% understandable. I get nervous doing burpees in front of people, too. But refer to above answer. DO THEM ANYWAYS. Eventually, those jiggles will jiggle themselves away and you’ll gain strength like no one’s business.
“Eating healthy is hard and expensive. I’ll just get Chick fil a.” NAW girl. Cooking healthy meals can be time-consuming, but if you prep and plan ahead, you’d be surprised in the time you can save during the week! You can get a pound of chicken for $10 that will last you probably 3-4 meals… OR you can spend $10 on a #7 combo at Chick fil a for about the same price that lasts just 1 measly meal. Hmmm…. Try out my 5 Day Meal Planner Pro Challenge (it’s FREE!) to help you meal prep delicious healthy meals!
“I can’t go out tonight. I have 5 episodes of Gossip Girl I need to finish before 10pm when I go to bed.” Giiiiirl YES girl, I feel you. ME TOO! Ha. I’m literally addicted to this show. It’s okay to binge sometimes. At least you give yourself a bedtime at 10, right? And we don’t do this every night, right? RIGHT? anyone? Sorry… I fully support this excuse at the moment.
I may know you in person or I may not. But I LOVE YOU and I don’t want you to ever, EVER settle. The thought of beautiful strong women like us settling breaks my heart. If you can’t see the beauty, potential, confidence in yourself right now, just know I DO. I want you to make meaningful relationships + take care of them. I want you to start exercising to discover the strength you have and learn about all the amazing things your body can do. I want you to feel proud and confident in yourself enough to make a change in your life that’s needed to fulfill you and bring you more happiness. This is hard, I KNOW, but it’s possible. We CAN.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
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